March Madness Bracket Strategy: Off the beaten path
Whether you want to back an underdog or stick with the favorites, Cooterdoodle lets you in on her best tips for filling out a winning March Madness bracket.
The best part about filling out a March Madness bracket is that you don't have to know f*cking sh*t about March Madness!
No, seriously. The odds of building out a perfect bracket are "one in 147.6 quintillion"! (Give or take a quintillion)
You'd have sweeter odds betting on Saquon Barkley re-signing with the Giants.
So yeah, the odds aren't great. They’re actually stacked against us. But you’re not trying to make history—you’re just trying to beat your coworkers! (Or like me, Fantasy Life’s CEO Eliot Crist).
Here’s the goal: We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to be the best!
So let's dive in, baby! I’ve got all the brackets you could ever want.
- Want to look like a pro? I’ve got the favorites.
- Want to look like a shark? I’ve got plausible underdogs.
- Want to look like you’ve built sooo many brackets that you’re just trying to feel something? I’ve got unique brackets, too!
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Bracket #1: The Odds Are Very Much In Our Favor
Unfortunately, brackets are always bustin'. Juggernauts fall to teams that experts never imagined would even make it out of the first round. But, we can't just ignore the chalkiest outcome.
So here's your basic b*tch, vanilla as it comes, simple-but-logical bracket based off of team rankings. It's not sexy, but it'll get the job done.
Bracket #2: Teeny Weenie Underdogs
One of my favorite ways to pick an underdog is to look at the overall spread. First, I identify the “close matchups” with the smallest spreads. Next, I pick the teeny weenie underdogs.
Because the spread is “teeny weenie,” the chances of the favored team winning is teeny weenie, too. Nah—it’s not risky, but no one said it had to be.
Our bracket, our rules!
Bracket #3: Scrabble Up!
Look, no one's EVER had a perfect bracket before. Simply put, the odds don’t mean sh*t.
And maybe it’s because we’re not thinking far enough outside of the box!
For this one, I busted open the Scrabble box and chose team names with the highest Scrabble scores. (Ties went to the higher ranked team.)
Bracket #4: So Easy, A Kid Could Do It
Sometimes logic prevails. Other times, it's just better to abandon any preconceived notions.
So for this bracket, I read off every matchup to my 7-year-old and let her childlike wonder decide the outcomes.
“Gonzaga sounds funny, Mom! They can’t win!”
And somehow, she still went chalk in the end.
Bracket #5: Just Vibes (Logo Edition)
I actually filled this bracket out first. I went in with minimal knowledge of which teams are favored and based my decisions off of the vibes of each team's logo.
If you don’t think this was strategic, then you know nothing about vibes.
I’m a vibe master. A vibe connoisseur! I know exactly what I’m doing here. So yeah…trust me. I can defend every f*cking pick of this bracket like my life depended on it. (Say Drake…)
Bonus Bracket: Fantasy Football Leaguemates
I couldn’t write about brackets using our Fantasy Life sheets without squeaking in a little fantasy football fun. Here’s a matchup between the usual stereotypical leaguemates.
Oddly enough…the loser won.
Would you do it differently?
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