For most, the 2024 fantasy football season will wrap up at the end of this week.

Some will have Week 18 championships, and quick question: Why?

What are you trying to prove? Who benefits from this? Do you literally just want to watch the world burn? What is WRONG with you people?

Sorry—ANYWAYS … Week 17 is the stuff of fantasy football dreams are made of … or nightmares. Year-round preparation and four months of maintaining your roster has led to one slate of football that will largely determine your long-term emotional well-being and overall happiness.

Accordingly, let's do our best to get those fantasy odds in our favor with seven wishes to the fantasy gods ahead of the most important week of the fantasy season. As always: It's a great day to be great.

Wish #1: Saquon Barkley takes down Eric Dickerson's single-season rushing record

Nothing against the Hall of Famer, but Dickerson's 2,105-yard mark is in sight! Let's get this thing! Already at 1,838, Barkley is a manageable (for him) 268 yards away from history. Hell, he racked up 255 in Week 12 alone against the Rams earlier this season.

Nick Sirianni doesn't exactly strike me as the type of coach to not gun for records, and it hardly seems like their remaining two home spots are the biggest obstacles in the world:

• Week 17 vs. Cowboys: Dead last in EPA allowed per rush this season, even the second-half return of all-world EDGE Micah Parsons hasn't fixed this defense's long-time deficiency against the run. Barkley surprisingly only received 14 carries in his first relative dud (14-66-0 rushing) against this defense back in Week 10; don't be surprised if that carry total is doubled this time around.
   
• Week 18 vs. Giants: A revenge game against the Giants to potentially break the all-time single-season rushing record? And you SERIOUSLY think the NFL isn't scripted???

While Barkley has already easily surpassed his contract incentives, there are still plenty of players who have a LOT to play for. As Geoff Ulrich pointed out in his great article on contract incentives and player milestones, guys like Tony Pollard and J.K. Dobbins could try extra hard to gut through existing injuries.

Still, there's another RB fantasy managers REALLY need to come through this week.

Wish #2: Bucky Irving fulfills his prophecy and leads fantasy managers to championship glory

Just the RB44 in pre-draft ADP; Irving wasn't anything more than a fun late-round handcuff in August as a day-three pick fully expected to work behind incumbent starter Rachaad White.

Fast forward roughly a million broken tackles and Irving is the captain now.

It'd make sense if offensive coordinator Liam Coen doesn't exactly go out of his way to correct this split after White lost a fumble to ice the Bucs' Sunday night loss to the Cowboys.

And why would they? With all due respect to White, who is a plus receiving threat and putting up career-best efficiency numbers on the ground, Irving has emerged as one of the league's most lethal ball carriers.

Irving among 40 RBs with 100-plus carries:

• Yards per carry: 5.5 (No. 3)
• Yards after contact per carry: 4.2 (No. 1)
• Yards per route run: 1.6 (No. 4)
• Missed tackles forced per carry: 28% (No. 4)
• Explosive run rate: 12.5% (No. 10)

Bucky couldn't ask for a better matchup against the league's single-worst fantasy defense against RBs. The rookie torched this group for a season-high 152 yards at the beginning of December. Let's do it again with the fantasy season on the line, please.

Sticking with sending positive vibes for the RB position …

Wish #3: Keep all RBs healthy for one more week

And obviously longer would be ideal. Forever, if possible, to be clear in case the Injury Gods are reading this (sup!).

With all due respect to your favorite handcuff stashes, it'd sure be great if the following five RBs who helped get fantasy squads to the finals are around to assist in bringing championship hardware home:

Cardinals RB James Conner (knee): Could be on the wrong side of questionable if the eliminated Cardinals (understandably) decide to be cautious. Further complicating matters is Trey Benson (ankle) joining Emari Demercado (back, IR) on the sideline last week. Benson would be the next man up and in the low-end RB2 conversation if active, but optimism would be tougher to find in a rotation between Michael Carter and DeeJay Dallas. Here's to hoping Conner is simply healthy enough to suit up against the same Rams defense he torched for 124 yards and a TD back in Week 2.

Seahawks RB Kenneth Walker (ankle): Listed as a DNP in the team's estimated practice report on Monday ahead of Thursday night. 16 touches in 38 snaps before being injured demonstrated the Seahawks' willingness to throw a workhorse role right back in Walker's lap, and a smashable matchup against the Bears' sinking rush defense awaits. That said, if KW3 is sidelined, Zach Charbonnet will be the one inside the top-15 conversation.

Saints RB Alvin Kamara (groin): Adam Schefter has already reported that "it's possible" Kamara is dealing with a season-ending injury here. Considering the Saints have nothing to play for, it sure looks like Kendre Miller will get a chance to lead the backfield in a winnable matchup against the Raiders' 27th-ranked scoring defense. Miller has put forward some truly admirable numbers in a limited sample; there's boom potential here should the Saints decide to fully feature the second-year talent.

49ers RB Isaac Guerendo (hamstring): Peeled off RB2 and RB25 finishes all the way back in Weeks 14 and 15 during his stretch as the team's undisputed lead back. He's averaged a robust 5.2 yards per carry and has caught 11 of 12 targets; Patrick Taylor is at 3.4 and dropped two passes last week alone. Guerendo is expected to practice this week and would be back in the upside RB2 conversation if active; Taylor would be a tougher sell despite the potential for a Monday night shootout against the Lions.

Chargers RB J.K. Dobbins (knee): Has been designated to return from IR and was spotted at practice on Monday. While Dobbins will be a risky fantasy start if active due to the potential for the Chargers to ease him in, some might not have better choices in deeper leagues. The return would also complicate the projection of Gus Edwards fresh off his PPR RB12 finish against the Broncos. There are worse spots than an RB looking at double-digit touches as four-point favorites against the Patriots' bottom-seven defense in fantasy points per game allowed to the position.

Now for some pass-catcher-related Christmas spirit …

Wish #4: Get Trey McBride a (receiving) touchdown

The Cardinals' stud TE would finish this season with an NFL record 92-plus receptions without a receiving TD if the bad times continue to roll. Of course, McBride did rush for a TD and recover a fumble for six points this season, but Kyler Murray literally just ghosted the man to the tune of four targets the very game after PROMISING to get him a score.

*Best Gob Bluth impression" COME ON!

Up next is a Rams defense that Kyler shredded for 266 yards and a trio of scores back in Week 2. While plenty has changed since then, it's actually been the Cardinals pass defense that has improved considerably as opposed to the still mostly-meh Aaron Donald-less Rams.

Some other potentially extreme matchups that could lead to some booms and doom this week …

Texans pass game vs. Ravens secondary: Houston has continued to prove explosive flashes of offense (fifth-most completions of 15-plus yards), but ranks a brutal 31st in success rate. Good news: Baltimore has allowed the second-most explosive pass plays and is a bottom-four defense in fantasy points per game allowed to QBs and TEs. Obviously Nico Collins is locked in as a top-five option at the position, but don't sleep on Dalton Schultz or perhaps even John Metchie (as a DEEP league FLEX) coming through.

Bears backfield vs. Seahawks front-seven: Chicago carries the week's fourth-best advantage in combined rush yards before contact per carry. Translation: D'Andre Swift could have more room to run than usual against a Seahawks front-seven that has allowed the eighth-most rushing yards to opposing RBs this season. It's been awhile since Swift boomed, but he's still averaged a hearty 17.3 touches per game this season, and was one of the unfortunate souls who *just* missed out on finding paydirt last week.

Lions pass rush vs. Brock Purdy: The league's best defense in causing Havoc, Detroit has largely caused problems for everyone other than the Bills and Packers over the last two-plus months of action. Meanwhile, the 49ers' season is over, and so is all-world LT Trent Williams (ankle). Purdy has cleared 300-plus yards with multiple TDs in two of his last three games; just don't be surprised if there's more pressure than usual against Aaron Glenn's feisty bunch. Side note: I LOVE Purdy's prop to clear 25 rush yards against the Lions man-heavy bunch that has surrendered the league's third-most yards on the ground to opposing QBs.

Buccaneers in general vs. Panthers: Carolina ranks dead last in scoring and havoc; ranks 30th and 31st in EPA allowed per dropback and rush, and boasts bottom-four disadvantages in terms of combined pressure rate and yards before contact per carry against the Bucs. Imagine any matchup-specific stat and I'm sure it'll tell you the same thing: Baker Mayfield and company are set to bake in this one. If you are lucky enough to have one of their starters on your fantasy team, let's ride, especially with the passing game currently condensed around Mike Evans, Jalen McMillan, and the RBs due to injuries to TE Cade Otton (knee), and WR Sterling Shepard (hamstring). McMillan in particular has worked his way into legit borderline WR2 consideration fresh off three consecutive top-20 finishes.

On the topic of extreme mismatches …

Wish #5: The Colts keep making life miserable for the Giants

And Giants fans should be with me! Big Blue can clinch the 2025 NFL Draft's No. 1 overall pick by simply losing out. Shedeur Sanders and Malik Nabers can be a full-time thing! Giants fans are calling Drew Lock the tank commander for crying out loud!

Another positive would be the Colts DST becoming the latest group to benefit mightily from a matchup with the NFL's 32nd-ranked scoring offense. Only the Browns and Titans offenses have allowed more DST fantasy points than the Giants this season, and things have been especially brutal in recent weeks with otherwise pedestrian units like the Falcons (DST1), Saints (DST4), Cowboys (DST3), Buccaneers (DST5), and Panthers (DST8) all managing to put forward more than usable performances.

Tommy DeVito could be under center with Lock (shoulder) undergoing tests. While DeVito doesn't quite have Lock's level of flair or frequency when it comes to throwing back-breaking INTs, few are better at sacking sacks. Overall, DeVito has the league's highest sack rate (16.2%) by over 4 percent among 50 qualified QBs over the past two seasons. 

The Giants are home, but Let's face it: December New York weather in a stadium full of pissed-off fans hardly sounds like an ideal environment for dealing with a still-alive-in-the-hunt Colts team that loves to run the rock with massive alleged human beings Anthony Richardson and Jonathan Taylor.

Speaking of weather …

Wish #6: PLEASE cooperate, Mother Nature

Outdoor late December games in Pittsburgh, Chicago, New England, Philadelphia, Buffalo, New York, and Cleveland. What could go wrong?

I'm no Ollie Williams, but I do know that RotoGrinders Kevin Roth has a free-and-easy weather report that helps identify potential problems, and Fantasy Life's Chris Allen also has a free-and-awesome weather breakdown that demonstrates how high wind among other factors (the man looked at stadium height!) can quickly help nuke an NFL passing game.

Important stuff indeed, but nothing matters quite like our seventh and final wish.

Wish #7: None of this "go down at the one-yard line to secure the victory" crap

I mean, yes, the decision to ice a game instead of scoring a TD (made famous by the likes of Brian Westbrook and Todd Gurley) is technically one of the most selfless and team-oriented things any football player could possibly do

But also yes: It's pretty annoying in these fantasy football streets. Should professional athletes really prioritize the needs of their employer ahead of a bunch of strangers?

At least for one week, let's all try to be a bit more like De'Von Achane.

Just please for the love of all that is good don't pull this "fumble the ball at the one-yard line before crossing the plane" madness. Jonathan Taylor more than made up for his Week 15 gaff last Sunday, but yeah, no more, please. PLEASE.

Two final notes:

1. Heroes get remembered, but fantasy football legends never die
2. Friends come and go, but fantasy championship banners hang forever

Enjoy the holidays and best of luck in those championships everyone!

Now, head over to my full rankings set below and lock in those lineups!

Week 17 Rankings