
What does Dr. Ian Malcolm have to do with touchdown props? MORE THAN YOU'D THINK! It's this week's Scared Money!

I'm ready to chase more completely stupid storylines in Week 6. If you've been sweating along with me, we've come close enough times to keep me biting. Whatdya say? Let's lock in a few more.
Get out your spare change. We've got some brand new sweats!
It's time for Scared Money - Week 6.
The 3 Scared Money Bylaws:

Your NFL playcallers were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
I mean, what the f*ck are these stats?
They're real. And they really piss me off.
Let's see if we can take advantage of these stupid statlines in Week 6.
4-leg parlay:

We broke down 9 trades that we'd love to see before the NFL deadline on November 4th.
Maybe these guys will want to show off their skills for their new potential teams. Or maybe they want to prove to their current coaches how badly their failing organizations need them.
Either way, I'm rooting for them.
And if the odds scare you, might I remind you that:
8-leg parlay:

With CeeDee Lamb, George Kittle, and Bucky Irving all possiblyyyy returning in Week 7, it might be time for their "replacements" to get in one final TD before they move back down the depth chart.
This won't be their last shot at participating in the game. But it could be their final chance as the "main guy."
Let's do this, boys!
Anytime Touchdowns - 3 legs:

After a full offseason of hyping them up, I've had enough of these rookies.
It's time to put some respect on the old men who are making their way through yet another season. They're working hard for their retirement! They're probably really into lawn care! And they're one year closer to having more hair in their ears than they've got on their head.
Age is just a number, baby!
We're stacking up an 11-leg parlay with guys who were all drafted before 2019 (some before 2010).
11-leg parlay:

Following all of those beautiful Tight End TDs in Week 5, I want to chase the high again in Week 6.
Look. The odds feels crazy, but it's JUST five teensy little touchdowns from five very large and humongous men.
Larger than Redwood trees, some might even say…
Anytime Touchdowns - 5 legs:
Scared Money side effects may include rooting for the Cowboys, nausea, and extreme 4th quarter sweats. More serious side effects may include increased heart rate, high blood pressure, and swelling inside of your pants as the parlays come close to hitting. Scared Money Bets are not recommended for pregnant or nursing women as they might forget they are pregnant or nursing during the final quarter of the game. Ask your doctor if Scared Money bets are right for you.