Let me be clear:

This is NOT a story about the time that I stood inside of the New Orleans Superdome and drunkenly bought a Rashid Shaheed jersey on my phone just because he scored a game-winning 19-yard touchdown right in front of my face.

To be more clear: 

This is not a story about how my stadium beer told me Shaheed's jersey might sell out if I didn't purchase it immediately after his touchdown. Or how my other beers told me he was going to be a rising star. (Though, in my defense, his jersey could have sold out. Shaheed wasn't very popular in September 2023 and his jersey was difficult to find.)

And to be ABSOLUTELY clear, beyond a shadow of a doubt:

This is not a story about how I had to sit down inside of the stadium amidst WHODAT chants, mentally and emotionally defeated, as I realized that I had impulsively purchased Shaheed's jersey with the wrong number sewn on. That's right. This is not a story about how I texted a customer support agent from section 117: "Sorry. Your website is selling a jersey with the wrong number. I'm not sure what came over me. I'd like to cancel my purchase and never speak of this ever again."

Nope. Those stories would be way too embarrassing for me to admit as a touted Rashid Shaheed superfan. And I surely wouldn't want them to be published anywhere for strangers to read in perpetuity.

This is a story about fandom.

You see, I'm no scientist, but I can assure you there's a different type of dopamine that releases inside of your brain when you're rooting for someone purely as a fan.

• NOT because they are on your fantasy football team.
• NOT because you drafted them at a super-discounted ADP.
• NOT because they're scoring more than the 11th overall pick in the 2022 NFL Draft, Chris Olave.

This is a story about fandom. And there are 3 things that you must know.

Pure fandom is unconditional.

It has no direct ties to your personal successes. It allows you to easily forgive a 0-0-0 game.

Being a true fan means that you believe in someone so deeply that even your spouse, friends, and trusted fantasy analysts are all telling you that you're crazy.

Where they see a "bad game," you see an opportunity for "a comeback." 

Pure fandom is the only way to find true happiness.

I've got some bad news for you, bud:

• Your favorite NFL team will lose.
• Your fantasy teams will lose.
• Your heart will be broken over and over again.

It's inescapable.

But if you're a superfan of someone (anyone), you'll never be truly broken ever again.

You know how your kid's sh*tty scribbled-up drawings are your favorite piece of art on the refrigerator? It's sort of like that—but with dropped catches or minimal targets. Your favorite player is the one doing it, so it's beautiful. They could never disappoint you. Ultimate happiness!

Pure fandom is universal.

You know … We're not so different, you and me.

Maybe you've never rooted for Rashid Shaheed. And maybe you've always double-checked your jersey purchases before making them final. But I know you've got what it takes to believe in something wholeheartedly. We all do.

So I'm begging you to become the ultimate fan of someone (anyone) this offseason.

And once you've figured out who that is, lean all the way in. Absolutely no wavering. Because pure fandom is unconditional, remember?

This year, find YOUR Rashid Shaheed.