
Cooterdoodle drops by to offer up the players she wants to buy, sell, or hold based on their Week 1 Fantasy Football performances ahead of Week 2.

Before we get into player specifics, I want to draw your attention to a few key concepts that are worth remembering when considering who to buy, who to sell, and who to hold on to.
A few for this week:
The first three might seem familiar.
We can’t look at every data point void of its context.
One data point is never enough.
We’re here for 17 weeks, folks.
While winning the week ahead is important, we have to play for the long haul.
Always look ahead at matchups and suspended/injured players’ return timelines and how that may affect their teammates (*cough* Alvin Kamara, Cooper Kupp(?), Jameson Williams *cough*)
Never get tunnel vision.
And lastly, stop chasing the golden briefcase…
While each week brings more data points and the wide-eyed hope that we can strengthen our fantasy teams, we have to tread lightly in the murky waters of chasing ‘the next big thing’.
Remember that one scene in Pulp Fiction when Jules and Vincent open the glowing briefcase? Ever wonder why Tarantino never revealed what’s inside?
The fantasy landscape can sometimes feel like this metaphorical briefcase as we constantly do whatever it takes to chase after value, upside, and sleepers without knowing exactly what we might find.
But I urge you, I BEG of you, even, to stop chasing the glowing suitcase.
Sometimes you’ve already struck gold.
And do you know why ‘gold’ rhymes with ‘hold’? Because when we strike gold, we aren’t selling!
Now let’s get into some Buyin’ Sellin’ and Holdin’, baby!
A few players underperformed in Week 1, but should bounce back.
If your leaguemates overreact: you need to act.
It’s time to get out your pocketbook and start writing checks, because we’re buying:
“Sound the alarms!” “Bengals offense nowhere to be found in Week 1!”
Sure, Cincinnati had a rough (read: abysmal) start against Cleveland in their season opener. And sure, Joe Burrow’s 82 total passing yards stat left you squinting and calling your local optometrist… because you must be seeing things.
But ask yourself this: Do you think Burrow & Co. will figure it out as the season progresses?
Keep in mind that Burrow tied for 2nd in passing TDs (35) and 5th in passing yards (4,475) in 2022.
Me? I’m betting on the Bengals being just fine.
If I can get a piece of this offense at a panic discount, sign me up.
Don’t forget that Week 1 can look ugly from time to time. In 2022, DeVonta Smith finished the year with 95 receptions (11th), 1,196 yards (9th), and 7 TDs (22nd) while starting the season off with big phat goose eggs across the board in Week 1.
Takeaway: A WR2 on a high-powered offense won't stay goose-eggin' for long.
Some players give you fantasy points, but their usage and efficiency tell us a different story.
It’s time to think ahead and think about selling:
Originally, I had Mattison as a ‘hold’ given Ty Chandler’s three carries compared to Mattison’s 11 and the Vikings’ willingness to cut Dalvin Cook, who was utilized as a bellcow mere months ago.

Sep 10, 2023; Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA; Minnesota Vikings running back Alexander Mattison (2) runs with the ball against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the third quarter at U.S. Bank Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports
And it does feel a little wrong to sell a player after his 13.4-point game where he finished RB16 overall. But without his TD on Sunday, Mattison’s lack of efficiency is something I’m just not confident in.
While there are other RBs I’d rather roster given their efficiency and upside, I won’t judge you if you’d rather hold.
Takeaway: Yards per carry matter.
Here are some “They are SO GREAT, I bet I could get great value for them right now” players that we are NOT letting go of - no matter what.
Remember, we’re not chasing the golden briefcase.
Sometimes the value to be found was on your draft board all along.
After a strong 100+ yard 1TD showing against the Colts in Week 1, Ridley looks to be one of the juiciest draft picks from your past.
If he’s on your roster, congratulations. If not, you can’t get him for cheap anymore. Ridley’s WR5 finish wasn’t a fluke.
If you don’t believe me, or our fabulous Fantasy Life analysts’ rankings, maybe this guy named Matthew Berry can convince you.
Do I have to elaborate?
Okay, um. Don’t f*cking get rid of this guy.
Unless you’re offered the sun, the moon, the stars, and front-row Taylor Swift tickets.
Everyone tried to tell us, didn’t they? Anthony Richardson is HIM.