Week 13 has come and gone. Thirteen NFL games brought joy, laughs and tears to football fans and, of course, fantasy football faithful.

Today, we’ll focus on the latter sadness and break down just how close some came to achieving fantasy football glory.

What follows is a breakdown of all the “Sheesh” moments from Week 13. I’ve watched every game and combed play-by-play data to help determine instances when:

• Pass-catchers could have scored or picked up big yardage with a more accurate pass 
• Pass-catchers did receive an accurate pass that should have resulted in a score or big gain, but the ball was dropped
• Ball carriers or pass-catchers managed to get all the way to the one-yard line, but didn’t score
• Players scored or picked up big yardage, but the play was nullified by a penalty
• Other random shit found a way to tilt fantasy football managers of all shapes and sizes

First, a rookie who truly had a great performance, yet still managed to leave all sorts of sheesh on the field this last Sunday.

Puka Nacua almost went nuclear

Yes, 139 total yards and a TD qualify as a rather great afternoon at the office.

Also yes, the Rams’ stud rookie WR quite easily could have added another 100 yards and a score to that stat line with just a bit better luck against the Browns.

Fantasy managers are just happy Nacua’s early injury scare didn’t wind up keeping him sidelined. Credit to the stud receiver on yet another great performance: Puka’s 17-game receiving yards pace (1,458) now puts him ahead of Ja’Marr Chase’s rookie record (1,455) in the Super Bowl era.

This just goes to show that sheesh impacts NFL players and performances of all shapes and sizes — just like our next example.

Don’t say Russell Wilson didn’t try to get Courtland Sutton the ball

Air yards measure the distance that any given pass travels (wait for it) in the air. Subtracting yards after the catch from every player’s receiving yards total before taking the difference with total air yards helps us pinpoint exactly how much opportunity through the air a player failed to come down with for one reason or another.

Dec 3, 2023; Houston, Texas, USA; Denver Broncos wide receiver Courtland Sutton (14) attempts to catch a pass as Houston Texans cornerback Steven Nelson (21) defends during the first quarter at NRG Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Sometimes unrealized air yards are more akin to “prayer yards” because the pass wasn’t overly catchable in the first place, so grinding the ole film helps with identifying those sorts of situations.

Nine players racked up at least 85 unrealized air yards in Week 13 specifically:

• Broncos WR Courtland Sutton (153)
• Titans WR DeAndre Hopkins (138)
• Jaguars WR Calvin Ridley (137 – this miss in particular was an emotional roller coaster)
• Browns WR Elijah Moore (125)
• Buccaneers WR Mike Evans (117)
• Chiefs WR Marquez Valdes-Scantling (108 — this should have been a DPI)
• Browns WR Cedric Tillman (96)
• Patriots WR DeVante Parker (90 — SO close to hauling in this spectacular catch)
• Falcons WR Drake London (85)

The chunk of Sutton’s week-high unrealized air yards came on the very first two plays of the game, as the veteran receiver was first fed a slightly underthrown contested incompletion, while the second sheesh was a flat-out drop instead of a chunk 45-yard gain.

You know who can complain about Russ not getting them the ball? Jerry Jeudy, and head coach Sean Payton pretty much went out of his way to do so on his behalf: “Really, if you look at the tape closely and you watch all of it — I know some of you get to do that. If you watch all of it, holy cow, there are about two or three of those plays.”

Challenge accepted, coach: I believe these are the three plays Payton was referring to.

Say it with me everyone: Sheesh.

C.J. Stroud is obviously awesome … but sheesh, man

Our previous section helped quantify the most missed opportunities through the air, but there were an additional handful of targets that I can’t help call out because it sure seemed like the following players could have put six points on the board with a bit more accurate pass.

For example, Texans QB C.J. Stroud should have had not one, not two, but three additional first-half TDs last Sunday against Patrick Surtain II and company.

The included Nico Collins drop also didn’t help. Either way, there’s bound to be some missed opportunity in an offense so willing to keep taking shots downfield through the air consistently. Overall, Stroud is the only QB with over 4,000 air yards thrown this season (4,049).

Overall, there were roughly 11 instances where I subjectively believe pass-catchers didn’t receive catchable passes on what would have otherwise been TDs, although differing levels of openness, difficulty of throw and pressure hardly made all of these near misses of the layup variety.

As Benjamin Franklin once said: Not all sheesh is created equal.

• Browns WR Elijah Moore (80 with a perfect pass, still completed for 42 yards)
• Saints WR Chris Olave (63 — thrown by Taysom Hill)
• Colts WR Alec Pierce (63 — this miss really sucked)
• Broncos WR Marvin Mims (56 — should have at least featured a DPI)
• Texans WR John Metchie (56)
• Seahawks WR Tyler Lockett (49, did draw DPI)
• Rams WR Puka Nacua (28)
• Texans FB/TE Andrew Beck (11)
• Titans TE Josh Whyle (10)
• Lions WR Amon-Ra St. Brown (8)
• Texans WR Nico Collins (3)

Would have been a lot cooler if CeeDee Lamb caught this

Can I get a “Sheesh?”

Overall, there were roughly five clear dropped TDs in Week 13, which sucks because, you know, football is pretty cool when players make great catches and score points:

• Titans WR Chris Moore (46 — offensive holding on the play anyway)
• Cowboys WR CeeDee Lamb (19)
• Jaguars WR Calvin Ridley (14)
• Texans WR Nico Collins (7)
• Cowboys RB Tony Pollard (6)

One could also argue this Tyler Lockett drop could have gone for a 55-yard score, although with all due respect: I have a tough time giving the veteran much benefit of the doubt in the YAC department.

There were three other drops that wouldn’t have gone for TDs themselves, but the lost chunk yardage certainly cost each respective offense a big-time chance to eventually cash in.

• Cardinals WR Rondale Moore dropped a b-e-a-utiful 45-yard deep ball where he would have set the offense up inside the 10-yard line.
• Patriots WR Tyquan Thornton received a well-thrown deep ball from Bailey Zappe that should have produced a 40-plus yard gain to the edge of the red zone, but here we are sheeshing.
• Broncos WR Courtland Sutton let a patented Russ moon ball go right through his outstretched hands and fall incomplete.

Rumor has it that on-field microphones actually heard Sutton mutter, “Sheesh!”

Taysom Hill was so close, yet so far away from an even bigger day

Getting all the way to the one-yard line but failing to score a TD is objectively a sheeshy feeling — particularly when fantasy managers are forced to watch someone else vulture away the score that was SO CLOSE to belonging to them.

Here’s the full list of Week 13’s players who managed to get the football within three feet of the goal line, but not quite across the plane, and ultimately didn’t score later on the same drive:

• Steelers QB Kenny Pickett
• Saints RB Alvin Kamara
• Jaguars RB Travis Etienne
• Chiefs RB Isiah Pacheco
• Bengals RB Joe Mixon
• Colts RB Zack Moss
• Steelers RB Najee Harris
• Commanders RB Brian Robinson 
• Packers RB A.J. Dillon
• Jaguars WR Calvin Ridley
• Panthers WR Adam Thielen
• Chiefs WR Rashee Rice
• Broncos WR Jerry Jeudy
• Commanders WR Curtis Samuel
• Commanders WR Dyami Brown
• Saints "TE" Taysom Hill

Also, note that Saints WR Chris Olave helped set up a pair of second-half TDs with receptions of 33 and 30 yards … both down to the two-yard line.

This phenomenon also happened to Lions RB Jahmyr Gibbs, who galloped 36 yards to the two-yard line … only for David Montgomery to come right on in and vulture the goal line score. Looks like Montgomery’s random act of kindness in letting Gibbs stay on the field to score a few weeks ago was a one-time deal.

“Ball don’t lie.” — Trey McBride

There was a ridiculous sequence (sheesh-quence?) on Sunday when Cardinals TE Trey McBride seemingly caught a five-yard TD. I say seemingly because the second-year stud possessed the pass, took three steps in the end zone, and only lost the football upon going to the ground. Former NFL official Gene Steratore said on the broadcast that he believed it was a catch.

And guess what? The game officials decided this wasn’t a catch.

So what did McBride do? Sit around and sulk about it? Nope, he got right back up and caught another five-yard TD on literally the next play. It was truly one of the better ball don’t lie moments that you’ll ever see.

“Not all interceptions are created equal.” — Mahatma Gandhi

While the box score doesn’t account for who to blame on any particular interception, Joshua Dobbs a rocket scientist isn’t always required to figure out that sometimes the QB wasn’t overly at fault.

Specifically:

Saints QB Derek Carr had an interception occur after TE Juwan Johnson let a perfectly thrown pass go right off his hands and to the defense.

Panthers QB Bryce Young's only pick came on an extended play downfield shot on 4th and 1 with just two minutes and 21 seconds remaining in the game. It would have been weird if Young didn't try to make a desperate heave downfield given the situation and lack of open receivers on the play.

Commanders QB Sam Howell's only interception was on a screen pass that featured Dolphins LB Andrew Van Ginkel never getting touched on his way to converting the pick-six. I'm not sure who missed the blocking assignment or if the plan was to leave Van Ginkel unblocked; either way, Howell was just throwing a ho-hum screen pass.

Broncos QB Russell Wilson might have had three INTs on the afternoon, but all three were at least somewhat excusable:

1. Tipped at the line of scrimmage and picked off the deflection. 
2. An unbelievable individual effort from Texans CB Derek Stingley Jr.
3. Desperate end zone heave with just 16 seconds remaining on 3rd and goal from the 8-yard line. Maybe not an ideal last-second throw, but obviously Russ had to force things at that point in the game.

Rondale Moore got ROBBED

In terms of, like, fantasy football. Not in real life. Just wanted to make that clear.

Anyways, last week there were essentially four TDs that never actually happened because the officials decided to throw their stupid little yellow flags and ruin the fun of fantasy managers and anytime TD bettors alike:

• Cowboys QB Dak Prescott had a three-yard TD scramble wiped off the board due to a hold on right tackle Terence Steele. It was a terrible call (OK fine, it was a perfectly fine call).
• While not technically a penalty, Seahawks QB Geno Smith had a one-yard TD to TE Noah Fant called off after the officials ruled that the Cowboys got a timeout off before the snap. Note that both sides seemingly played at full speed on the sheesh.
• Finally, it sure looked like Texans DB Desmond King had pulled off the always-special forced fumble turned scoop-and-score. One problem: The officials said … forward momentum had already been stopped?! Madness.
• Cardinals QB Kyler Murray lofted a gorgeous deep ball to WR Rondale Moore on what was initially ruled a 33-yard TD, only to take the score off the board on a truly iffy holding penalty. I’m still mad about it.

Might want to skip this one, Jaxon Smith-Njigba fantasy managers

Fun fact: Fantasy players don’t get rewarded fantasy points for drawing defensive pass interference penalties. Should they? I don’t really think so, but some people disagree with me, so here we are.

The top five players in most yards gained courtesy of drawing DPI flags were as follows in Week 13:

• Cowboys WR Jalen Tolbert (47 yards gained on a defensive pass interference flag)
• Rams WR TuTu Atwell (41)
• Seahawks WR Tyler Lockett (40)
• Cowboys WR CeeDee Lamb (35)
• Seahawks WR Jaxon Smith-Njigba (29 and 13, both were in the end zone and positioned the Seahawks at the one-yard line)

Additionally, Cardinals WR Greg Dortch (7) and Buccaneers WR Mike Evans (2) had shorter DPIs position their offense at the one-yard line, while Eagles WR A.J. Brown (11) got his offense down to the two.

I think I speak for all of us when I say for one last time: Sheesh.

We’re on to Week 14.