We were soooo close to cashing a 13-leg parlay with +10646 odds last week. And I'm just crazy enough to try it again...if you are.

All I need is a little hope, a good storyline, and something big to sweat over.

May the odds NEVER be in our favor… It's Scared Money Week 11!

The 3 Scared Money Bylaws:

1. May the Odds Never Be In Your Favor: We are absolutely NOT trying to play it safe. The crazier the odds, the better.
2. Narratives Are EVERYTHING: Betting on something meaningless is an emotionally empty abyss. Instead, we're buying into the incredible outcomes that we want to become our reality. We're fans of the game—THAT is what drives the bet.
3. No wager is too small: Even the smallest bets can give you an INCREDIBLE sweat if they revolve around something you believe in. In fact, the smaller the better.

Disgruntled +884

Uh oh. We have a few veterans who have begun to express frustration with their current circumstances.

During a live stream this week, A.J. Brown:

1. Told fantasy managers to "get rid" of him
2. Expressed that the "only highlight" of football that he's been living right now comes from… his stats in Madden.

Justin Jefferson recently posted that he wants to get back to his Year 3 stats (128-1,809-8).

And while CeeDee Lamb hasn't expressed irritation online like his peers, his in-game frustrations have not gone unnoticed. The Cowboys are now 3-5, on a 2 game losing streak, and Lamb hasn't scored since Week 7.

But with matchups like DET, CHI, and LV in Week 11… There's a chance that our disgruntled veterans get the bouncebacks they've been crying for. Here's to hoping the stars align and their coaches are listening.

Anytime TDs:

• A.J. Brown
• Justin Jefferson
• CeeDee Lamb

Jameis Winston Is Inevitable +1500

We didn't know how we would get here or when it would happen, but we all knew "Jameis Winston Week" was inevitable.

His matchup is terrible:

• The Packers defense hasn't allowed a QB to throw 3 TDs since Week 4
• Green Bay is giving up the fewest yards per pass attempt in the entire league

His offense is in shambles:

• No Malik Nabers
• No Cam Skattebo
• No Darius Slayton

And guess what? I DON'T GIVE A SH*T.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. And when life gives you Jameis Winston, you bet on him!

2 Pick Parlay:

• Jameis Winston: 3+ Passing Touchdowns
• NY Giants Moneyline

Run It Back +5981

Like I said in the intro, we were a few Justin Jefferson yards and a Jalen Hurts tush push away from cashing in our 13-leg biggg boy bet last week.

Let's see if we can run it back. Here's a leg from every game in Week 11.

14-leg Parlay:

• James Cook 50+ Rushing Yards
• Woody Marks 10+ Rush Attempts
• Theo Johnson 3+ Receptions
• Ladd McConkey 3+ Receptions
• Ja'Marr Chase 80+ Receiving Yards
• DeVonta Smith 4+ Receptions
• CeeDee Lamb 80+ Receiving Yards
• Rashee Rice 6+ Receptions
• Quinshon Judkins 60+ Rushing Yards
• Trey McBride 6+ Receptions
• Puka Nacua 70+ Receiving Yards
• Rico Dowdle 70+ Rushing Yards
• De'Von Achane 100+ Rushing + Receiving Yards
• Justin Jefferson 5+ Receptions

Two Is Better: +7700

Jahmyr Gibbs, Josh Jacobs, and De'Von Achane have all scored multiple TDs in a single game this season (read: several times). And in Week 11, their matchups aren't stopping them.

If you look at their individual odds at scoring 2+ TDs, it ain't so bad. But when you put them all together…

Now we're getting sweaty.

2+ TD Scorers:

• Jahmyr Gibbs 2+ TDs
• Josh Jacobs 2+ TDs
• De'Von Achane 2+ TDs

Risers & Sickos +4672

I'm feeling *cough cough* sick of the easy bets. So, I built a 6-leg parlay around a few "SICKO" plays.

Give me good matchups and a few ATDs to sweat over. I'M NOT ASKING FOR MUCH!!

If you want my full reasoning behind these legs, check out Dwain McFarland's Risers & Fallers for Week 11.

6-leg Parlay:

• Tee Higgins 40+ Receiving Yards
• Jaylen Warren ATD
• Bijan Robinson OVER 37.5 Receiving Yards
• Jaylen Waddle ATD
• Tez Johnson ATD
• Theo Johnson 4+ Receptions

Scared Money side effects may include rooting for Jameis Winston, nausea, and extreme 4th quarter sweats. More serious side effects may include increased heart rate, high blood pressure, and swelling inside of your pants as the parlays come close to hitting. Scared Money Bets are not recommended for pregnant or nursing women as they might forget they are pregnant or nursing during the final quarter of the game. Ask your doctor if Scared Money bets are right for you.