How to Watch NFL Football on Sundays ... Undisturbed
Cooterdoodle stops by to solve the age-old crisis of fantasy football players -- how to sneak away for hours on end to watch football on Sundays without disturbance.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, wants to enjoy their passions undisturbed.
So why, should you, a fantasy football enthusiast, be any different?
Are you worried about coming up with the perfect, believable, and totally not fabricated excuse? Don't be. We've got you covered with a trio of pre-formatted notes that can get you out of any Sunday pickle during the NFL season*.
*Success is not a guarantee, but these notes are clinically proven to increase the chances of a peaceful Sunday by 69%.
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SUNDAY DOCTOR’S EXCUSE
Patient Name: _____________
Physician: Dr. Matthew J. Berry
I have examined the patient and determined that, due to their current level of health, they require scheduled days off for rest and recovery.
Please excuse ____________ from any physical or mental activities on all Sundays occurring from Thursday, September 5th, 2024 through Sunday, February 9th, 2025.
Activities to avoid include, but are not limited to: any yard work, laundry, house cleaning, errands, and children’s birthday parties that may arise.
Right-click the image below to save and fill out your Doctor's Note!
SEDENTARY DOCTOR’S EXCUSE
Patient Name: _____________
Physician: Dr. Matthew J. Berry
The purpose of this excuse letter is to inform you of the physical limitations set forth for ______________. Due to the patient’s current level of extraneous physical activity performed during working hours and weekdays, they are to remain inactive/sedentary for up to 11 hours on Sundays.
We have found success rates for recovery are higher when patients and families strictly adhere to these orders for the entirety of their prescription. Failing to follow the prescription as written may result in additional rest required on Thursday and Monday evenings.
Prescription: 8-11 hours of inactivity
Frequency: 1x weekly (Sundays recommended)
**Prescription valid from Thursday September 5th, 2024 through Sunday February 9th, 2025.
Right-click the image below to save and fill out your Doctor's Note!
DIETARY RESTRICTION LETTER
Patient Name: _____________
Physician: Dr. Matthew J. Berry
This is to certify that ______________ has been under my care for the management of their dietary intake. The patient has a confirmed history of eating way too f*cking healthy throughout the week, resulting in a decrease in their quality of life.
As part of their management plan, the patient has been advised to increase their weekly intake of varied malts, hops, and yeast. While they can choose the brand of their choice, we recommend full-bodied, somewhat bitter Ales or crisp refreshing lagers.
Patients can increase their intake as needed to obtain the desired results. We recommend their management plan take full effect on Sunday afternoons/evenings, coupled with plenty of rest.
Right-click the image below to save and fill out your Doctor's Note!
