
Can you make a player props parlay for Week 5 based on Taylor Swift's new album? YES YOU CAN!!

I'VE GOT MY MOJO BACK, BABY!
I got lost in the sauce and had forgotten what it feels like to conjure up a completely stoooopid parlay. But this +12000 win from Week 4 rejuvenated me and I'm ready to chase more completely stupid storylines in Week 5.
If you've been sweating along with me, we were only one Jakobi Meyers TD away from cashing a +16000 last week!! (read: f&*#!)
Get out your spare change. We've got some sweats to lock in. It's time for Scared Money - Week 5.
The 3 Scared Money Bylaws:

"What's with these odds, Cooter?!" Hm. Tell me you have two little BB's in your panties without telling me.
HEAR ME OUT! It's just three f*cking legs.
Leg 1 Rationale: Jahmyr Gibbs scored 2 TDs against Baltimore in Week 3. This week, he's facing against a laughableCincinnati defense who:
Leg 2 Rationale: Garrett Wilson gets to face an absolutely embarrassingly penetrable Dallas defense who:
Leg 3 Rationale: And the Titans just allowed 2 TDs to Woody Marks in Week 4 and 3 TDs to Jonathan Taylor in Week 3. Sure, could it be Demercado that scores against them in Week 5? Yea. But scared money don't make money! Pick a damn side and lock it in. Michael Carter, I choose you.
Is that enough justification for you, punk? Is it?
Make the bet or don't. P*ssy.
3-leg parlay

Nothing feels better than rooting for something with someone. So, who's better than Fantasy Life's very own team members, Peter Overzet, Geoff Ulrich, Jonathan Fuller, and Ferdinando DiFino?
The prompt: "Give me 1 leg of a parlay. Any leg. I'll add em' up!" Easy enough, right? Well… When added together, we've built a 5-leg parlay with +10327 odds. Thrash threw the odds so high, I wasn't able to go any higher on the O/U for Dillon Gabriel or Tetairoa McMillan despite our contributors wanting me to.
In their defense…I did tell them it could be any leg.
LET THE GROUP SWEAT BEGIN!
5-leg parlay
Just in case the Browns props don't work out... we don't want the sweat to be over before noon ET, right? RIGHT??
4-leg parlay

I've been backing all of these bets up with statistics, odds, narratives, and anything else I can support them with. But sometimes, it's fun to f*cking live a little.
THAT'S SHOW BUSINESS, BABY!
6-leg parlay

Injuries suck, but the game must go on. Each of these guys have had to step it up and fill the shoes of their predecessor.
Oh… And Arizona? I went with both RBs. Because why not?
A tough parlay doesn't scare me, baby!
Anytime Touchdowns - 6-legs

I bet you didn't realize it, but Spencer Rattler can scoot.
He hasn't scored a TD on his feet, but with the handful of rushing attempts each week, 15.5 yards are right within reach. Gimme the Over. And, well… The others seem self-explanatory given the juicy, juicy matchups.
Give me a walkie-talkie, because I'm taking the over! Over.

Scouring through Freedman's Favorites for Week 5, I combined a few fun ones based on this week's matchups and projections.
Need I say more? No. Freedman said it all. Go check out his favorites for each position.
11-leg parlay (Most legs of the week)
Scared Money side effects may include rooting for Michael Carter, nausea, and extreme 4th quarter sweats. More serious side effects may include increased heart rate, high blood pressure, and swelling inside of your pants as the parlays come close to hitting. Scared Money Bets are not recommended for pregnant or nursing women as they might forget they are pregnant or nursing during the final quarter of the game. Ask your doctor if Scared Money bets are right for you.